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It's a steaming mess of physical and social discomfort.

I'm pretty vanilla when it comes to sex. I let my not-so-freaky flag fly with pride.

Sure, sexiness abounds. Not my speed, but get your sexy on, you crazy kids. I can think of thousands of things I'd rather do or try than this sex position which involves two men having sex from behind with two women who are ing.

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That's right, I'd rather my brown-eye were plundered to invite several friends over to try this acrobat maneuver. Nothing fills me with ire quite like trying to make a spreadsheet.

Except that it's not, you guys. And if I have to deal with that little helpful paperclip icon one more time, I'm gonna have to tell him to go Eiffel 69.

There's nothing more awkward than trying to forge a relationship with the person refilling your water and sharing the good news of the day's specials with you. I turn into everyone's portly uncle, making terrible jokes sex positions eiffel tower getting their name wrong.

But I'd rather bellow positoons I hated it!

I've tried wearing lingerie for a man exactly. I felt sexy and amazing But I'd rather repeat this hellish Groundhog Day -esque scenario than ever try this sex position.

When I was about 14 I unplugged an iron and tossed it in a casual hip way I'm very casual and hip and everyone can attest to this onto my bed. Seconds later having forgotten this, I sat down on my bed in an equally hip sex positions eiffel tower cool fashion and roasted my left buttock.

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For a week I couldn't fully sit down, and fully sitting down is one of my favorite activities. That's how you know I'm serious about.

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